Personal Log of Lt. Praxi

Where to begin, where to… oh! The Vulcan Science Academy sent a representative with us to negotiate with the planet Denebole. Her name was T’parr, and she was very polite. Um, yes. So our negotiations were for a rare sort of crystal which was reputed to have special mind-altering properties, and T’parr figured they were worth investigating. As it, uh, turned out, the crystals were useless, some sort of ruse by the locals to get access to our shield generator technology. Still, they were- oh yes, and they grow their technology! With plants! And they sing at their plants! I knew it was something worth doing! Ha! So, right, they were, well are, fighting a, the, whatever they are, Dominion. And since they’re all very uptight about interference with their planets, or maybe it’s because we’ve fought them before, hmm, but they wanted us to, not give the Denebolians shield technology. I wonder if it would be creepy to have a plant-grown tricorder. Would it be meaty, or chitinous? Would I have to water it? Would it… gurgle? Hm.

So the plan was, the Aperture was to draw away the Dominion ships while a Ferengi ship, there were Ferengi there as well, they wanted the crystals for… whatever, doesn’t matter. And me and Ensign, well he was still ensign then, Ensign Quog and I would be on the Ferengi ship, with the Ferengi, since it’s their ship, and we would sneak past them and get back to the wormhole. Except that Quog thought it might be more useful to fight the remaining ship around the planet, and it seemed like a good idea, but then he wouldn’t stick to the plan, and… there must have been some impact to the ship, and they say he stabbed me over a misunderstanding, or… then I hit my head on a bulkhead. It’s very fuzzy, what happened. But yes, the trial was held on the station recently, Quog and I were pulled from active duty on the Aperture, and after a lot of hush-hush questioning, he was demoted to a noncom rank, which was not something I thought you could do, actually.

Apparently it was all due to a cultural misunderstanding, so I’ve decided to bridge this gap and cheer him up with the classic Ferenginaran comedy, “Shlork the Stuttering Vulcan Meets the Tax Man”. The ship’s holodeck is out of commission because of art moles, or something, so I got a holosuite on the station where we can watch it. I’m even bringing a box of popped corn to eat, which apparently requires milk to eat properly, and doesn’t actually take well to heat, but it seems to be alright on its own. I just hope Quog doesn’t hold any grudges against me about all this.