Personal Log of Lt. Praxi

Where to begin, where to… oh! The Vulcan Science Academy sent a representative with us to negotiate with the planet Denebole. Her name was T’parr, and she was very polite. Um, yes. So our negotiations were for a rare sort of crystal which was reputed to have special mind-altering properties, and T’parr figured they were worth investigating. As it, uh, turned out, the crystals were useless, some sort of ruse by the locals to get access to our shield generator technology. Still, they were- oh yes, and they grow their technology! With plants! And they sing at their plants! I knew it was something worth doing! Ha! So, right, they were, well are, fighting a, the, whatever they are, Dominion. And since they’re all very uptight about interference with their planets, or maybe it’s because we’ve fought them before, hmm, but they wanted us to, not give the Denebolians shield technology. I wonder if it would be creepy to have a plant-grown tricorder. Would it be meaty, or chitinous? Would I have to water it? Would it… gurgle? Hm.

So the plan was, the Aperture was to draw away the Dominion ships while a Ferengi ship, there were Ferengi there as well, they wanted the crystals for… whatever, doesn’t matter. And me and Ensign, well he was still ensign then, Ensign Quog and I would be on the Ferengi ship, with the Ferengi, since it’s their ship, and we would sneak past them and get back to the wormhole. Except that Quog thought it might be more useful to fight the remaining ship around the planet, and it seemed like a good idea, but then he wouldn’t stick to the plan, and… there must have been some impact to the ship, and they say he stabbed me over a misunderstanding, or… then I hit my head on a bulkhead. It’s very fuzzy, what happened. But yes, the trial was held on the station recently, Quog and I were pulled from active duty on the Aperture, and after a lot of hush-hush questioning, he was demoted to a noncom rank, which was not something I thought you could do, actually.

Apparently it was all due to a cultural misunderstanding, so I’ve decided to bridge this gap and cheer him up with the classic Ferenginaran comedy, “Shlork the Stuttering Vulcan Meets the Tax Man”. The ship’s holodeck is out of commission because of art moles, or something, so I got a holosuite on the station where we can watch it. I’m even bringing a box of popped corn to eat, which apparently requires milk to eat properly, and doesn’t actually take well to heat, but it seems to be alright on its own. I just hope Quog doesn’t hold any grudges against me about all this.

Captain's Log: The Par'Mahk Defense

The trial has ended.

Ensign Quog has been found to be guilty of assaulting a superior officer. Due to... cultural considerations, the penalty has been reduced to demotion. He is still serving aboard this vessel, but I will have to keep a careful eye on him in the future.

The circumstances of his crime still bother me. It seems to me that the Vorta fought hard to stop us from leaving that system. At the time, I had thought it was because of the value of our cargo. But if our cargo was worthless, then... what? Were they trying to convince us of the value of our crystals? Were there crystals that had value, and they gave us counterfeit crystals instead?

Or perhaps it was only what we've seen. What if the most valuable thing on the planet was not the crystals, but its chanting population?

They're all possibilities. But all of those possibilities point to one thing: we've been played by a civilization that we're only just learning about.

And I damn well want to know why.

Sticks on Trial

Preparations are made to safely handle the strange crystals:


Pre-trial interviews don't go quite as planned:

Mothma: The Nova Class Starship

This last week, I've had a chance to fly the new Star Fleet Nova Class Starship.

First, let's have a look at the outside, shall we?

It's... a Federation starship. A couple of warp nacelles, a sort of disk shaped thing on the front, and some decks holding the whole thing together. This is pretty much standard stuff. Obviously they told the engineers involved that they were getting "creative freedom" by stretching out the disk a little and adding a few awkward knobby bits, but they're not really messing with the design, are they?

I mean, the bloody Ferengi can make a nicer looking ship than this.

But let's have a look at the interior, shall we?

Oh my! It's beige and blue! Clearly those crazy Federation officers stayed up all night designing this one!

And of course, this being a Federation ship, there's all the extras you could expect: science bays, schools, a holodeck (not standard, but the regular version has an exercise room. So if you don't have the holodeck, you get to carry around extra weights!), and all that extra rubbish that Star Fleet swears it needs for its "missions."

But of course, all this extra weight has traditionally been a problem for Star Fleet ships. Sure, it's theoretically possible that in the vacuum of space, a single engine can push an enormous mass at ever increasing speed. But that's just not very fun. And besides, if it's ever in a combat situation it's all about acceleration.

Its like this: the engines only give you so much force, right? And Force = Mass x Acceleration. So the less mass you have, the more acceleration you get. And that's how the Klingons still manage to get such great speed out a dilithium sequencer. They've thrown every bloody thing out of the bird of prey but phasers and guns, and they've got the acceleration to show for it.

So with all the added Star Fleet bulk to it, just how fast is the Nova Class?

Under ideal conditions, it turns out the answer is: quite fast.

It's a maneuverable little ship, in spite of the unnecessary mass. It can run circles around a Galaxy Class starship, and it can do Warp 8 in a pinch.

It handles well, too, if you can get the bloody auto-navigation turned off. Let me tell you, that system is another great piece of Federation engineering, all "that turn is not within safe limits" and "more power required from the engines." It's rubbish! But turn it off, and it's actually not bad.

Though that's where the other problem with flying a Federation Starship comes in: the rules.

And by gods, the rules.

Sticks in Space!

When underway, the ship's systems start to have problems:


The mastermind is revealed:

Quog: Incompetence and Dishonor

Dearest Cousin Skeeg,

It is with the greatest pleasure that I report to you that we have returned to Deep Space Nine with our entire cargo of crystals intact. If there was anyone who might have been plotting to scoop up any of them in the event that, say, the shuttle suffered engine failure, it seems that they were foiled by the quick reflexes of our Bajoran Attache. Good work for her.

Now, there is only the fear that Quark, a rather dishonorable Ferengi on board the station, might gain access to the crystals and make use of them. If he were to do so, it would at least soften the blow if a member of our family should at least collect the percentage that our family would deserve if, in some mirror universe, we had sunk to the level of participating in such a heist. I am sure Quark could be convinced to agree.

Should Quark be convinced to part with some of those crystals, it would be even more unfortunate if some unscrupulous mercenary were to get their hands on them and use them to erase key witnesses in an ongoing investigation. The Federation would consider that quite uncalled for, so of course I would never dream of doing such a thing, especially not to a medical officer.

In other news, I have heard that the new employees I told you about have been taken into custody as part of some sort of trial against me. I am uncertain of their loyalty, and feel that their employment ought to be terminated post haste. I feel that they would find adequate employment in the bustling field of extra-vessel zero-gravity exploration. Perhaps our old friend Mr. Airlock would provide them passage to their new employment.

In case business looks slow with my current employer, it might be advisable to prepare transport to different climates. One never knows when such a thing might be required.

Drawings, continued

Local scans reveal hostile avian life forms:


The away team is tested by the natives:


A surprising revelation about the inhabited planet:


Nothing is more exciting than space combat:

Personal Log of Lt. Praxi

Personal log, stardate… well, hm. I should note that I have been hit by an energy field of little-known methodology at least twice today, so please excuse my, um, lack of temporal… graspiness. We received a distress call from a colony on a gas giant today, which apparently made Ensign Smith in Astrometrics dance with joy, with even a song and a tap routine on the central display emitter. Shame I missed it, hm. The call was due to an outbreak of a strange disease within the colony, which made the youth rebellious; ah, as in they were actively leading a revolt against their elders, not in the normal growth-stage way. It was surprisingly civil, well, for a revolution. Still very violent, mind you. Hopefully that will change soon.

Oh, but the dome! The dome they used to keep back the gaseous atmosphere and the intense pressures was generated by a gigantic shimmering gold tower, which was also worshipped by the locals and also, um, alive. My guess would be that the founder of the colony built the tower with some manner of organic technology, and the tales surrounding him were somehow conveyed as the doings of the tower. Or perhaps he transferred his consciousness into it. I really wish I’d had more time to scan it. Oh, it was also the source of the aforementioned energy field that zapped me, or at least it was what channeled natural electrical energies into me. I suppose using it as a lightning rod would help with the power requirements for an energy shield of that magnitude. It was really quite amazing, all around.

Oh yes, the plague. Dr. Z was in charge of the away team; as far as I can gather, she managed to work out a number of treatment options for them and she left it to them to choose. Hopefully they’ll all settle down once they’re cured, and their revolution can be resolved peacefully. There were also some larger… governmental or military politics involved, I don’t know. Why anyone would want to shoot at a Federation science vessel on a rescue mission of all things is… well except they don’t know about the Federation out here, do they. Guess this was as good an introduction as any. Well, unless they’ve met us already and didn’t like it. Humm. I’m going to sit in Two Starboard and drink a bucket of Calufraxian yak milk until I get sleepy. Yes, that is a good plan.

Captain's Log; Castles in the Sky

In Star Fleet history, there have always been certain ships that never manage to have what's known as a "Routine Mission." The best known examples are the Enterprises, but there have been others that suffer from the peculiar curse that every mission, no matter how dull or routine it ought to be, will end in some sort of unfortunate adventure or moral dilemma.

I fear that the Aperture may be one of those ships that suffer from the 7 year curse.

At least it's useful to Star Fleet.

Today, while on a routine mapping mission, we heard a medical distress signal. We followed up on that distress signal, and found a colony floating inside of a gas giant. There was a ship outside of the colony, apparently running a blockade and ignoring the distress signal entirely.

Needless to say, I ordered Dr. Z with an away team to gather more information and act as she felt appropriate. She did so, and I am appending her log for the events that occurred on the surface.

While her away team was dealing with the locals on the colony, the USS Aperture came into contact with the blockade ship.

The ship was run by an alien whose species I am unfamiliar with. I believe, based on how events played out, that this individual is part of some larger organization.

When we first approached, he (I believe it was a he) contacted us and made thinly veiled threats that we should leave. Rather than do so, we found a spot between several moon where we could beam the away team to the surface without detection. We then pulled away to a distance that I would have been out of range of Star Fleet sensors.

Lesson Learned: whatever kind of ship this is, they have excellent sensors.

Having discovered us, however, the ship contacted us, warned us off again, made some reference our being the creatures that came through the worm whole, and then... they sat. For a long time.

They were communicating with someone. It is my belief that the captain of that vessel intended to attack us but was, perhaps, waiting for orders. Which was good for us, as we had promised to pick Dr. Z back up in 72 hours.

We must have been the source of some confusion in the ship's superiors. It took hours for them to work out what to do with us. We spent that time trying to scan the enemy ship, and having only spotty luck.

When the other ship got their orders, it must have been to shoot us down. They tried.

Lesson Learned: That class of ship is definitely a war ship, and can outgun the USS Aperture in a straight fight.

Luckily, we didn't try to fight them in a straight fight. I ordered our ship not to return fire unless absolutely necessary, since I still had not heard from Dr. Z and had no desire to enter the Federation into a war without adequate information. Instead, we were forced to work our way back into the solar system and pick up Dr. Z early, after which we left the system as quickly as we could.

Whoever the other ship belonged to, they are remarkable war machines, and I can only hope that, whatever power commands them, that we can reach a peaceful accord with them before we have to see them in battle.

Personal Logs of Lt. Praxi

[personal log] yet and it’s completely… Wait, okay, so maybe I can just fit this bit back in lengthways and then, maybe… there. Okay then. Computer, begin new personal log, stardate 46-[/log]

[personal log]… ? Stardate 46401.7. I have finally joined the crew of the Aperture on her maiden voyage. I can already tell that there are many nice people in Engineering who are willing to help, um, those that drop their personal terminals and then step on them, and then kick the important bits under a chair, by accident. There are also… less nice people aboard, such as the ensign in charge of impulse engineering, but I’m sure I’ll get to know him better. Maybe he will even return my allotment of latinum that I gave him for the, um, meal in the, hmm. Well, maybe not.

Oh yes! The launch went without concern, and the wormhole was surprising larger than expected. I always assumed that the Aperture was assigned to it due to its small size, as something that could transport ships that far away must require a tradeoff in capacity, but no. Speaking of the ship, it has an incredible sensor suite! State of the art spectral induction plates, tight-band material analysers over the ramscoops, and some sort of new buffering grid to compensate for the, uh, the… oh karf it, what’s that effect that’s based on… Doppler Effect! Yes. It allows for better scan resolution while in flight. I should include some of the images that Astrometrics has been capturing, they’re beautiful. I’ll figure out how to do that, later, yes. And my quarters! I have a window! All to myself! And it’s down the hall from the officer mess! Well they’re all down the hall from that, but still!

Currently we’re working on a simple shakedown mission to find a missing probe, with Lt. Mellok, he’s the Chief Engineer, working on the case. I’ve submitted an initial crew roster for the science department to the captain, based on their career profiles. I’m pretty sure they’ll be accepted, I did some extra footwork on their backgrounds. Oh, but then I mentioned that yesterday, didn’t I… hm. Well then, I’m repeating myself.[/log]


[personal log], supplemental. Where to begin, ah. We’ve encountered, well we met it really, a living sun! It’s a G2V with a magnitude of… well that doesn’t rightly matter, it was alive! It may even be a new subtype of cosmozoic life! And we met with natives on a local planet that worshipped it! Well, sort of. Also, the sun tends to attack things in space that it considers hostile, which is… everything. Well not the planet, it doesn’t attack the planet I don’t think… Oh this is rubbish. Let’s start over.

It started when we rendezvoused with the U.S.S. Equinox in the Gamma Quadrant, where we were given the task of finding a missing survey probe. Lt. Mellok tracks it down to an M-class with a pre-warp society orbiting a living star. Well, we didn’t know that at the time, or that it apparently knocked the probe down. But I’m getting ahead of myself again, yes. So then! We pick up lifeforms approaching the crash site, and well, you know, the Prime Directive dictates that we have to stop them, so we get a visual scan of their clothes and anatomy, and Dr. Zelth… Zlethel… Dr. Zee and her personnel alter our appearance so we can blend in. Also, having a nose is weird. I’m glad I didn’t have to eat with it.

Then, and this was a neat part, we take the Aperture’s atmospheric shuttle, the Black Forest, down to the surface. I even managed to use the ionic interference in the atmosphere to mask our approach, um, once or twice. We had to stall the locals that made it to the wreckage, but we managed to recover it without their notice or too much trouble. Lt. Eketha, the Chief of Security, seemed very keen on violence, and Ensign Quag was dangerously close to, well, doing something awful. Really though, hmm. I make to deride them, and the only real hitch in the operation was my fault. That’s not what… oh right, yes. As we were leaving, I couldn’t quite find an ionic ‘pocket’ to tuck the shuttle into, and we… we spooked the locals, I suppose. We had to go back and stun them, then Dr. Z had to wipe their memories.

After we returned to the Aperture, we found that the sun was attacking the ship, as it was alive, as I mentioned. So we had to hide the ship behind the planet and work out it was alive, which was easy when Ensign Ls’uzz, a Betazed, picked up on its thoughts; and that it was sentient, which was easy when Lt. Mellok worked out that it was fluctuating the temperature of its core as a form of language. Strange way to communicate, but then I suppose the flapping about of organic bits is just as strange. Oh yes, and we set up a beacon probe to warn ships away from the area. Can’t have a zealous sun blasting everything without warning, oh no.

So! That was my day today. Humm, wow. It certainly kicks nebula surveys into a vert nest. Almost sorry we didn’t get to stay and study it, but then it was a very overprotective sort of sun.[/log]