This is probably the happiest I’ve ever been to lose a liver. Wait, that’s not fair to say, I’ve never lost a liver before this. Well, except for that time I bet on squamish at the academy and we used spare body parts from the Medical department as currency; but that wasn’t really mine to begin with, and also I think I lost a Tellurian squiddle then as well. So if that one counts, then this is definitely the happiest I’ve ever been to lose a liver, and if it doesn’t then it’s also the worst.
So! We have just opened up First Contact relations, well okay no that’s too much. We’re not diplomats, and there- Right. We have just established the foundation for a First Con- well that’s too far in the other direction, hmm. We met some aliens! Yes. They’re very nice, except for when they think you’re not sentient, then they are kind of dissection-happy. They exist outside of our known model of space, currently. They live in a… plane, adjacent to our own and accessible through a subspace pocket. They built an ambassador for us, out of bits, bits of... local life. People. She’s where my liver went. Mind you she needs it, and I usually don’t need both unless I’ve eaten a lot of syrup, oh but then I have a new one now! Yes it’s even got a swappable filter built in it, so if I take up a drinking habit I can beam it- right, yes. Some people died when they harvested the parts for their ambassador, so there's going to be repercussions about that. Good news is, they’re sorry about what they did, and they have a legal system, so justice can be pursued.
Oh hells, I still have to write my official report. The diplomatic corps are frothing giddy about all of this. They want all the details they can squeeze out of us: what color were they, how many eyes did they have, how many facets per eye, did they seem shocked at any point, did they have breathing apparatus, it’s very overwhelming. Doctor Kay, he’s the fellow behind the portal technology that brought us to them, and them to us, sort of. I haven’t seen him since we first reported what happened to the captain. The diplomatic corps just swallowed him up, like a thing… that drops on another thing from a tree… and then eats it. There’s even a bartender who’s advocating for the establishment of a permanent trans-subspace diplomatic and commercial waypoint on the station! The Bajorans will probably have something to say about that, I think.
Apparently, there was a previous encounter with these aliens, and it didn’t go as well as it did now, and it was with the crew of the… Federation flagship. That is, hum. I don’t, I don’t know how petty they are, on the flagship, and they might not take well to a lesser ship getting the First Contact that they, sort of, may have but really probably-didn’t-given-the-circumstances, botch. And my name is going to be on that report, and well, hm. They can’t be that bad, can they? No. No I’m being silly. Silly in a personal log, that’s a demerit. Haha. Okay! I need to collect my tricorder from that subspace pocket, which means I’ll have to get clearance from diplomatics, and SCE, which means I should leave soon, and then I can use that information in my official report. And then maybe if Quag isn’t busy with that Ferengi trader’s market, we can go watch a Betelgeusan comedy. I don’t think I really like Ferengarian comedies, they’re sort of… xenophobic.
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